Chapter 31: The Clergyman's Secret MissionWeeks passed, and I had fully adapted to life at the new school.
Though the school was poor, the children's laughter brought me joy.
Each day I taught and prepared lessons, feeling calm and fulfilled.
St. John visited from time to time, still quiet but thoughtful. One evening, he came to see me again.
“Jane,” he said, “there is something I’ve kept to myself.”
“I plan to become a missionary and go to India.”
I was surprised, but I admired his resolve. “I need a wife, someone who can go with me,” he said.
He looked at me seriously. “Jane, I hope that person is you.”
My heart trembled—I was surprised and uncertain.
“Do you ask this out of love?” I asked quietly. “Not from love, but from duty,” he replied.
“You are strong and faithful. You are the right person.”
I lowered my head, but felt resistance rise within me.
I could not trade marriage for self-denial and duty. “I am willing to help you, but I cannot be your wife without love.”
He was silent for a moment. There was light and disappointment in his eyes.
I knew he would not give up easily.
A new struggle in my heart had quietly begun. | 
