The Ancient Ones Part 1
A 1.The Grand High Witch stood on
the very centre of the platform, and those dangerous eyes of hers travelled
slowly around the audience of witches who were sitting so meekly before her. 2."All those over seventy
put up your hands!" she barked suddenly. 3.Seven or eight hands went up in
the air. 4."It comes to me",
said The Grand High Witch, "that you ancient vuns vill not be able to
climb high trrrees in search of grrruntles' eggs."
B 1."We won't, Your Grandness!
We are afraid we won't!" chanted the ancient ones. 2."Nor vill you be able to
catch the crrrabcrrruncher, who lives high up on rrrocky cliffs," The
Grand High Witch went on; 3."I can't exactly see you
sprrrinting after the speedy catsprrringer either, or diving into deep vorters
to spear the blabbersnitch, or striding the bleak moors vith a gun under your
arm to shoot the grrrobblesqvirt. 4.You are too old and feeble for
those things."
C 1."We are," chanted the
ancient ones."We are! We are!" 2."You ancient vuns have
served me vell over many years," said The Grand High Witch, "and I do
not vish to deny you the pleasure of bumping off a few thousand children each
just because you have become old and feeble. 3.I have therefore prepared
personally vith my own hands a limited quantity of Delayed Action Mouse-Maker
which I will distrrribute to the ancient vuns before you leave the hotel." 4."Oh, thank you, thank
you!" cried the old witches.
D 1."You are far too good to
us, Your Grandness! You are so kind and thoughtful!" 2."Here is a sample of vot I
am giving you," shouted The Grand High Witch. 3.She fished around in a pocket
of her dress and brought out a very small bottle. 4.She held it up and shouted,
"In this tiny bottle is five hundred doses of Mouse-Maker! 5.Is enough to turrrn five
hundred children into mice!"
E 1.I could see that the bottle was
made of dark-blue glass and that it was very small, about the same size as the
ones you can buy at the chemist with nose-drops in them. 2."Each of you ancient vuns
vill get two of these bottles!" she shouted. 3."Thank you, thank you, O
Most Generous and Thoughtful One!" chorused the ancient witches. 4."Not one drop will be
wasted! Each of us will promise to squish and squallop and squiggle one
thousand children!" 5."Our meeting is
over!" announced The Grand High Witch.
F 1."Here is the time-table
for the rrreemainder of your stay in this hotel. 2."Rrright now, vee must all
go out on to the Sunshine Terrace and have tea vith that rrridiculous Manager. 3."Next, at six o'clock
tonight, those vitches who are too old to climb trees after grrruntles' eggs
vill rrree-port to my rrroom to rrree-ceive two bottles each of Mouse-Maker. 4.My rrroom number is 454.Do not
forget it. 5."Then, at eight o'clock,
all of you vill assemble in the Dining-Rrroom for supper.
G 1.Vee are the lovely ladies of
the RSPCC and they are setting up two long tables specially for us. 2.But do not forget to put the
cotton plugs up your noses. 3.That Dining-Rrroom vill be full
of filthy little children and vithout the nose-plugs the stink vill be
unbearrrable. 4.Apart from that, rrree-member
to behave normally at all times. 5.Is everything clear? Any
questions?" Part 2
A 1."I have one question, Your
Grandness," said a voice in the audience. 2."What happens if one of
the chocolates we are giving away in our shops gets eaten by a grown-up?" 3."That's just too bad for the grrrown-up," said The Grand
High Witch. 4."This meeting is over!" she shouted.4."Out you
go!" 5.The witches stood up and began gathering their things together.
B 1.I was watching them through the
crack and hoping to heaven they would hurry up and leave so that I might be
safe at last. 2."Wait!" shrieked one
of the witches in the back row. 3."Hold everything!"
Her shrieking voice echoed through the Ballroom, like a trumpet. 4.All the witches suddenly
stopped and turned and looked towards the speaker. 5.She was one of the taller
witches and I could see her standing there with her head tilted back and her
nose in the air and she was sucking in great long breaths of air through those
curvy pink sea-shelly nostrils of hers.
C 1."Wait!" she shouted
again."What is it?" the others cried out. 2."Dogs' droppings!"
she yelled."Just then I got a whiff of dogs' droppings!" 3."Surely not!" the
others shouted."There couldn't be!"
D 1."Yes yes!" shouted
the first witch. 2."There it is again! It's
not strong! But it's there! I mean it's here! It's definitely somewhere not too
far away!" 3."Vot's going on down
there?" shouted The Grand High Witch, glaring down from the platform.
E 1."Mildred's just got a
whiff of dogs' droppings, Your Grandness!" someone called back to her. 2."Vot rrrubbish is
this?" shouted The Grand High Witch. 3."She has dogs' drrroppings
on the brain! There are no children in this rrroom!" 4."Hang on!" cried the
witch called Mildred. 5."Hang on everybody! Don't
move! I'm getting it again!"
F 1.Her huge curvy nose-holes were
waving in and out like a pair of fish-tails. 2.It's getting stronger!It's
hitting me harder now! 3.Can't the rest of you smell
it?" 4.All the noses of all the
witches in that room went up in the air, and all the nostrils began to suck and
sniff. 5."She's right!" cried
another voice."She's absolutely right! Dogs' droppings it is, strong and
foul!"
G 1.In a matter of seconds, the
entire assembly of witches had taken up the dreaded cry of dogs' droppings. 2."Dogs' droppings!"
they shouted. 3."The room is full of it!
Poo! Poo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo! 4.Why did we not smell it before?
It stinks like a sewer! 5.Some little swine must be
hiding not so very far away from here!" 6."Find it!" screamed
The Grand High Witch.
H 1."Trrrack it down! Rrrootle
it out! Follow your noses till you get it!" 2.The hairs on my head were
standing up like the bristles of a nailbrush and a cold sweat was breaking out
all over me. 3."Rrrootle it out, this
small lump of dung!" screeched The Grand High Witch. 4."Don't let it escape! If
it is in here it has observed the most secret things! 5.It must be exterrrminated
immediately!" |
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